Tag Archive
Failure University
Failure University (officially abbreviated FU, with sincerest regrets) is a fully self-accredited coeducational Internet-based university. Founded in 2006, it endeavours to provide advanced degrees to the mentally and financially underprivileged — namely those persons who were too dim to be matriculated by a standard college or university, and whose parents were too poor to build [...]
Alternative Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
Alternative Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous is a forthcoming syndicated television series scheduled to premiere this fall, featuring the incomparable, incommensurable, and now ailing and incomprehensible Robin Leech. The show features the unusual and unknown lifestyles of entertainers, athletes, business personalities, and other wealthy and successful individuals that you’re completely fascinated to learn more [...]
22.86 Centimetre Nails
22.86 Centimetre Nails is a Canadian band — in actuality, just one Canadian guy masquerading as a band — popularly abbreviated as 2286CMN. While labelled by some critics label as a blatant rip off of Nine Inch Nails, the band has sold well in Canada. However, this may be due to a nationwide drought in [...]
A belated favour for Morrissey
(Most pictures I post are made by others: this one is a rare exception! Done with GIMP.)
Chicken of the Sea
Based in San Diego, California, Chicken of the Sea is the company that is single-handedly responsible for the breeding of 96% of the world’s population of gill-equipped, underwater poultry. Originally, these schools of chickens were harvested for packing in nice, neat tins, for consumption by fat, bloated carcasses like you. However, after being liberated by [...]
An Open Letter to the Cheese Growing in Between My Toes
Dear whitish semi-translucent somewhat curdish looking substance, freeloading between my left and right baby toes and their respective next-door neighbours: Now look — I consider myself a patient man. Not Ghandi patient, or even Obama patient, but certainly more than Rush Limbaugh patient or Alec Baldwin patient. But your persistent and unwarranted existence is really [...]
Ronnie James Dio’s Big Book of Nursery Rhymes
About The Author Ronnie James Dio (born July 10, 1942, in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, USA), is a heavy metal vocalist, 42nd level magic user, midget rights activist, and children’s author. When he’s not recording, touring, or being fired from or rejoining Black Sabbath (or Rainbow), he’s reviewing student applications at the Ronnie James Dio Institute [...]
The Taming of the Shrew (1st Draft)
Act 1 SCENE I. Padua. A public place. LUCENTIO sits before a miniature trapeze set, a see-saw, a merry-go-round, a ferris wheel and a tightrope. Two shrews wander about, sniffing and leaving droppings. LUCENTIO rises from his seat and spreads his arms wide in dramatic fashion. LUCENTIO Grasp thy paws firmly upon the tethered bars [...]
Invictus, Jr.
Under the sheet that covers me, White as the snow but black as night, I beg all visitors that be, “Close the door and turn off the light.” In the grip of ambivalence I’ve often winced and cried aloud. Asked to bestow but a few pence I’ve hid within this bedding shroud. Beyond this place [...]
Ozymandias
I met a roadie from an ancient band Who said:—”Two fat and drunken legs did groan Staggering through the blizzard toward the can, And attached a bloated corpse, whose dim frown And slurring lips no known words do command. Should you see the bastard, alive or dead, Barking at the moon or beheading things, Say [...]
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This work by Todd Richard Lyons is licensed for use, distribution and remixing under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.5 Canada License (en français).