Based in San Diego, California, Chicken of the Sea is the company that is single-handedly responsible for the breeding of 96% of the world’s population of gill-equipped, underwater poultry. Originally, these schools of chickens were harvested for packing in nice, neat tins, for consumption by fat, bloated carcasses like you. However, after being liberated by [...]

Dear Diary, Yesterday I was eating a ham sandwich and I had another stark realization. Pork is evil. As wide as the gulf of understanding may be between the Muslims and the Jews, this much they can agree on: Pork is evil. Of course, they’ll continue their fervid debate on the relative merits of the [...]