Good day. How’s it goin’, eh? Like, uhm, welcome to Canada, eh? Want to have a bit of fun with our moose herd? I’ll tell ya though, they’re pretty loaded from the party last night, and you don’t want to piss off a moose when he’s like, hung over, eh? They’ll like, uh, run you [...]

An apology follows, but first, the admissions of guilt: In Music I serviced Buddy Holly’s plane. I wrote the book of love. Clarification: But some other jerk removed all of the adult content I added. What gives? I put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp, AND… I put the ram in the [...]

Dear whitish semi-translucent somewhat curdish looking substance, freeloading between my left and right baby toes and their respective next-door neighbours: Now look — I consider myself a patient man. Not Ghandi patient, or even Obama patient, but certainly more than Rush Limbaugh patient or Alec Baldwin patient. But your persistent and unwarranted existence is really [...]